The Ultimate Adventure
by Masterob
Summary: Inuyasha teams up with a lot of people to go after Naraku, but he has friends too. It's a war between two complete armies. Some favorites may get killed but it makes the story more dramatic.
1. Chapter 1

**The Ultimate Adventure**

_I don't own anyone, but who freaken cares. Rated R for violence, language, dialogue, sex, blood, horror_

One day at the X-manor, a whole group of people were waiting for Professor X. I mean a shit-load of people. The people were; all the Raccoon City survivors, Jack Slate, Max Payne, Solid Snake, Lara Croft, Raiden, Hal "Otacon" Emmerich, Gabriel Logan, Lian Xing, Teresa Lipan, Laurence Mujari, John McClane, The Crow, Blade, Hannibal King, Abigail Whistler, Ed Wuncler III, Gin Rummy, Agent 47, Frank Martin, Fantastic Four, Spider-man, the X-men, Daredevil, The Punisher, The Hulk, Captain America, Elektra, Iron man, Ghost Rider, Neo Anderson, Tommy Vercetti, Carl Johnson, Claude "Fido" Speed, John Constantine, Ash Williams, The Simpson Family, The Griffin Family, The Smith Family, The Gold Family, The Hill Family, the friends Bill Dauterive, Dale Gribble, Boomhauer, James Earl Cash, James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer, Michael Scofield, Kent Paul, Maccer, Toni Cipriani, Naruto Uzamaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Kakashi Hatake, Yusuke Urimeshi, Kurama, Hiei, Kazuma Kuwabara, Goku Son, Pan Son, Vegeta, Kiyo Takamine & Zatch Bell. That's a helluva lotta people.

Professor X arrived. "I'm sure you're all wondering what you are doing here", he said. "We are very curious", Tommy said. "You see, I have a mission for all you people, you must go back in time and help a girl and some friends stop an evil madman named Naraku", Professor X said. "Who the hell is Naraku?" Constantine asked. "A half demon that is destroying feudal Japan and can have a bad affect on our time", Professor X said. "How dangerous is the Son of a bitch?" Kevin Ryman of the RPD asked. "Very, especially since he's teamed up with others, such as the head sentinel Bastion, the Imperfects; Niles Van Rokel, Paragon, Johnny Ohm, and Fault Zone; even harnessing the Demonic Lament Configuration that holds in the gates of hell, even the deadly Pinhead and his Cenobites", Professor X said. "How did Bastion get to the feudal era?" Wolverine asked. "Van Rokel built a device to allow him", Professor X said. "So who will we meet in the past?" Ash asked. "I have someone who has been to this era", Professor X said. Then a girl stepped out. "This is Kagome Higurashi, though she's from Japan, she can speak English", Professor X said. "Hello" she said. "Kon-ich-ih-wah", Tommy said bowing. "Now the X-men, the NYC heroes and Resolution will go back in time to help", Professor X said. "Who's Resolution?" Kagome asked. "The people that are not superheroes are Resolution", Professor X said. "It was discovered by me, NYPD John McClane and RPD Leon Kennedy", Gabriel Logan said. "What about those people, they don't look like cops, or secret agents", Kagome said, referring to The Simpsons, Griffins, Golds, Hills & Smiths. "One of those families will join you, The Simpsons, for community service, everyone else came for moral support", Professor X said. "What did we do to deserve this?" Homer Simpson asked. "You caused a nuclear meltdown dad", Lisa Simpson said. "Relax man, everyone fucks up on something", Dave Gold said. "Yeah, like the time I abused my freedom of speech", Peter said. Flashback to an assembly in a library. Everyone was standing until Peter said, "What are we doing here?" Then everyone started punching him, one guy said, "No talking in the library" Back to present. "Hehehehehehehe", Peter laughed. "This sucks, I can't believe you screwed up Homer", Bart said. "Why you little…" Homer said and strangled Bart. Bart grabbed Daredevil's rod and bashed Homer on the head. "Ouch, Marge, I think he brained up my fuck", Homer said. "Sir it's inappropriate to strangle your son", Spider-man said. "Anyway it's time to go", Professor X said. He readied a machine. "Let's back away people", Hank said. Dale was trying to open a beer, then accidentally dropped it and it rolled away. "Ahh! My beer", he screamed and ran after it. Boomhauer saw this and ran after Dale. "Hey man, come back here man, running to that crazy thing, take you back in time man", he said. "Homer, I forgot to take back my sunglasses", Dave said as he ran. "Dale, Boomhauer, get away from there", Hank said. "David come back here", Vickie Gold said. Too late, the thing transported everyone, with 3 stow ways; Dale, Boomhauer & Dave.

Everyone made it to the feudal era. "That trip was fuckin' sick", Kevin said. "Hell fuckin' yeah", Gin Rummy said. "Come on", Kagome said. The army followed her. They arrived in a village. "Inuyasha! Mugen! James! Everyone out here", Kagome said. A bunch of people came out. "Everyone, these are my friends, they'll introduce themselves, though there are some her that know them", Kagome said. Indeed Yusuke & Pan know them; they are good friends of Kagome. "I'll start. I am Kagome Higurashi, I'm 15, I like to play cards with friends, take care of Shippo, and other stuff". "I'm Inuyasha, I'm 17, I like Ramen, I'm a fan of John Cena, I don't take shit from anyone, so don't fuck with me". "I'm Miroku, I'm 19, and I'm cursed with a windtunnel in my hand that will someday kill me. I am indeed a womanizer" "I'm Sango, I'm 18, this is my pet cat demon Kirara, I like Brittney Spears". "I'm James Kaiba, former Team Rocket member, I'm 17, and I like Jay-Z". "I'm Seto Kaiba, James's cousin, I'm a championship duelist, I don't like to get fucked with, I'm 16, and I like Linkin Park". "I'm Mugen, I'm 20, I kick ass, and I also like John Cena". "I'm Jin, I'm 20, I don't talk much, don't bother me". "I'm Fuu, I'm 15, and I like nice things, that's all". "I'm Shippo, I'm a fox demon, I'm 7, I like to play with Kagome, I like Chris Jericho, Michael Jackson, The Backstreet Boys & Eminem, I don't like mean people like Inuyasha and Mugen". Shippo gets hit by Inuyasha and Mugen. "What was that punk?" Inuyasha asked. Shippo starts crying. "Inuyasha, SIT", Kagome said. Inuyasha fell face first to the ground. Mugen got knocked upside the head by Fuu. "That's not a good way to treat a kid", Kevin Ryman said. "Let's forget that and introduce yourselves", Kagome said. Everyone took turns introducing themselves. Finally the Simpsons. "My name is Homer Jay Simpson, call me Homer, I'm 38, I work in the nuclear plant which led me to this shitty job, I like doughnuts, pork chops and beer, I like rock music and I like to be called colonel cool as well". "I'm Marjorie Simpson, maiden name Bouvier, call me Marge, I'm 37, I'm a homemaker, I like Tom Jones, and I care deep for my children". "I'm Bartholomew Jojo Simpson (hears a laugh), shut up; call me Bart, I'm 10, I like to prank call people, moon them, and I like my slingshot. Plus I listen to rap". "I'm Lisa Marie Simpson, call me Lisa, I'm 8, I like Jazz, I'm Buddhist, I want world peace, and I'm a vegetarian". "This is my daughter Margaret Simpson, call her Maggie, she's 1, she doesn't talk much, but she's very nice", Marge said. Soon the Stow ways arrived. "What the hell are you doing here?" Tommy asked. "Shut up, I'm very weirded out by that trip", Dave said. "Must be from when you were near us", Lisa said. "Why don't yo introduce yourselves?" Kagome said. "Dale Gribble". "Dave Gold". "Boomhauer". "So we're keeping it short", Kagome said. "I guess we are", Dale said. "Some on, let's go to Kaede's hut", Kagome said.

The army arrived in the hut. "Unfortunately everyone can't fit in the hut", Sango said. "Who care's, it's not that important", Carl said. "You know it's somewhat weird", Homer said. "What?" Marge asked. "His name is Carl, and he's black, I have a friend named Carl who's also black, do you have a white friend named Lenny?" Homer asked. "No, my friends are Tommy, Toni & Claude", Carl said. "(Laughs) Claude, funny name", Homer said. Claude heard this and fired a shotgun in the air, giving Homer a fright, then making a finger across the throat gesture. "Don't fuck with Claude", 47 said. "Don't fire your gun here", Kagome said. Claude flipped her off. Kagome grunted. "Told you not to fuck with Claude", 47 said. "Doesn't he talk?" Lisa asked. "No he doesn't, silent, but deadly", Carl said. Shippo went to Kevin. "Nice hat", Shippo said, referring to Kevin's cowboy hat. "Thanks, you know with this hat, I'm known as the Midnight Cowboy", Kevin said. "Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, always bragging about something", Gambit said. "Shut up Remy", Kevin said. "Guys, guys, chill out will ya", Iceman said. "Wise guy", Kevin said. "What do you guys do?" Shippo asked. "I can use kinetic energy, and use poker cards as weapons", Gambit said. "I can make ice", Iceman said. "Kid, you know what I do? I make fire", The Human Torch said. "So can I", Shippo said, creating some fox fire. "That's cool", Human Torch said, turning his entire body to fire. "Oh my God!" Shippo said. "Johnny, stop showing off", Spider-man said (Note: none of the superheroes, except Iron man, are wearing super suits). "What do you do?" Shippo asked. "I can do what ever a spider can, spin a web, crawl on walls, everything", Spider-man said. "He's cool ain't he, jerk", Human Torch said. Steve Burnside, Kent Paul & Maccer arrive. "Showing off again Johnny Storm?" Maccer asked. "Shut the hell up", Human Torch said. "Easy, there's a kid here", Steve said. "I don't mind", Shippo said. "See he don't mind asshole", Human Torch said. "Go to hell", Steve said. "You know there are other kids here", Marge said. "Who gives a shit?" Bart asked. "BART!" Homer yelled. "They don't care either", Paul said. "I do", Lisa said. Human Torch picked her up and put her outside. "That takes care of that", Human Torch said. "That was stupid", Inuyasha said. "You shouldn't be talking about what's stupid or not", Shippo said. "What the hell are you trying to say?" Inuyasha said as he advanced toward Shippo. "Kagome help", Shippo said. "You brought this on yourself", Kagome said. "Ya here that?" Inuyasha said. Then Spider-man stood in front of Inuyasha. "I wouldn't hurt the kid if I were you", he said. The other 7 people stood in front of Inuyasha as well. "You better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up", Maccer said. Inuyasha grunted then left. "You're a bitch", Paul said to Kagome, which really pissed her off. "Listen you…" Kagome started. "Kagome, don't bother, I don't think anyone hear gives a crap what you think", Shippo said. Kagome picked up Shippo by the tail, smacked him and tossed him outside. "Yo what the fuck bitch", Human Torch said. Outside, Naruto, Sasuke & Sakura were walking and saw Shippo outside crying. "Poor little guy", Sakura said. Then the door opened. Shippo looked happy, until he saw his 8 friends being tossed out one by one. "Holy Shit", Naruto said. A pissed off Kevin yelled, "Why not throw out everyone else so your boyfriend can fuck you in the ass Kagome!" Lisa took the opportunity to go back in. "Kevin, what does it mean to fuck someone in the ass?" Shippo asked. "Fucking means having sex, that's how babies are created, sometimes its just for fun, a man can insert his penis into a woman's vagina or anus, penis is between a guy's legs, vagina is between a girl's legs, anus is an ass, if it's the anus, it's called anal, sex hurts at first", Kevin said. "Sometimes, a girl can suck on a guy's penis, or a guy can lick a girl's vagina, they can even suck each other's pecks or breasts", Human Torch said. "Can one boy kiss another?" Shippo asked. "If they are gay, or fags", Iceman said. "If girls kiss, they're lesbians, sometimes referred to as gay, though gay is mostly referred to for men", Gambit said. "Some are bisexual, they like boys and girls", Steve said. "Thanks for telling me, I finally know where babies come from, though it seems weird", Shippo said. "Don't worry, it feels so damn good", Paul said. David King, Alyssa Ashcroft, Billy Coen & Jim Chapman were watching from a distance. "A kid learning the birds and the bees like that is as creepy as those zombies in raccoon city", David said. The others nodded.

Later, everyone went to sleep. Spider-man offered Shippo to hang with them in a hut, Shippo declined, he wasn't in the mood. He slept in a shed, crying over what happened, and then sleeping. Someone entered the shed and saw Shippo crying. "Poor guy", the person said. The stranger started hugging Shippo. Shippo woke up. "What the hell!" he said. He recognized the person. "Hakudoshi!" Shippo said as he saw his enemy, the 7-year old demon minion of Naraku. "Hi there", Hakudoshi said. "What the Hell are you doing?" Shippo asked. "You were crying so I thought I'd make you feel better", Hakudoshi said. "Why are you here?" Shippo asked. "I was ordered to kill you", Hakudoshi said. "What happened?" Shippo asked, almost concerned. "I saw you and felt sorry for you, then I heard what your friends said, so I figured I'd assist you", Hakudoshi said. "Why are you depressed?" Shippo asked. "I'm tired of looking for these goddamn jewel shards, I would like to have a girlfriend, but I can't get one, Naraku won't let me, especially with Bastion & Van Rokel around", Hakudoshi said. "So you are mistreated as well, from Inuyasha is no surprise, but from Kagome is just terrible, I feel really betrayed, I thought she would always care for me, but that was all a damn lie, it really pisses me off", Shippo said. "I always have to take orders from some idiot who had once worn a baboon suit, some man who looks like a woman", Hakudoshi said. "That's funny", Shippo "I better leave", Hakudoshi said. "When will I see you again?" Shippo asked. "Soon", Hakudoshi said. He left.

Morning came; Shippo woke up and left the shed. Everyone was preparing to leave. "Bye Kaede, thanks for the hospitality" Kagome said. "No problem Kagome", Kaede said. Shippo met with his friends. "How was your night kid?" Kevin asked. "Fine", Shippo said. "Let's move out", James said. The army moved out. They've walked 10 miles before an impatient Zatch Bell screamed, "Where are we?" "Shut up Zatch" Kiyo said. "Chill out dammit", Inuyasha said. "I wish we had some action", Naruto said. Then Kagura appeared on her feather. "Be careful what you wish for", she said. Then Kanna appeared with The Infant. "Death will come to you", The Infant said. "Jesus Christ! That infant's talking", Michael Scofield said. "Back off Kagura, there are many people here", Inuyasha said. "Really, DANCE OF THE BLADES", Kagura said as she attacked the army. "Watch out!" Miroku shouted. Everyone dodged, except for Kevin, who got slightly cut; Jack Bauer, who got sliced at the leg; and Max Payne, who got sliced at the back. "Goddamn bitch", Jack Bauer said. Eventually, Musou showed up. "Musou, I thought you were dead", Kagome said. "I never died", Musou said. He drew his sword and tried to kill Kagome, but got into a sword fight with Raiden. Kagura attacked again with, "DANCE OF THE DRAGON", which resulted in a big tornado, which was sucked in by Miroku's Windtunnel, but caused Shippo to fly off. "Shippo, no!" Spider-man shouted. Raiden continued to fight Musou, leading to Raiden stabbing Musou. "Ha, I can't die", Musou said, and slashed Raiden at the arm. "DANCE OF THE DEAD", Kagura said, as the dead rose from the ground. "Where the hell did all these zombies come from?" Yusuke asked. "Goddammit, more zombies", Chris Redfield said. "Let's do it again", Leon Kennedy said. "We'll help", Wolverine said. The Raccoon City survivors & the X-men took out all the zombies. "How the hell did you mere humans manage that?" Kagura asked. "Because we're so damn talented", Kevin said. "And we're not all humans you idiot", Iceman said. Meanwhile at the present time, Professor X was watching trough a magical mirror he acquired from Hogwarts. Speaking of Hogwarts, three top students came, Harry Potter, Ronald Wesley & Hermione Granger. "Professor, sorry we're late", Harry said. He then saw the action. "Should we go now?" Harry asked. "Yes, hurry", Professor X said. "Wait, just to let you know, you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that there's a talking baby", Peter Griffin said. Everyone stared. "Let's go", Hermione said. They were transported to the past. Musou was gonna kill Raiden. "Die punk", Musou said. Inuyasha saw this, but was unable to help due to the dance of the blades, dragon & dead. Then Harry arrived. He saw Raiden's life in danger. _"Avada Kedavra"_, Harry said. A green spark left his want and flew towards Musou. When Musou was hit, he died in an instance. "No Musou", Kagura said. Raiden saw Kagura distracted then used the opportunity to cut her head off with his sword. Much blood flew as she died. "Kanna, we need to depart, or we'll get killed too", The Infant said. They tried running, but Yusuke saw them. "Oh no you don't, SPIRIT GUN" he said as he shot some spiritual energy and hit Kanna in the back. Kanna was dead. "Shit", The Infant said. He tried escaping, but was caught by Carlos Olivera. "I'm gonna feel weird about this", he said. He fired his assault rifle at The Infant. Since The Infant didn't see him, he couldn't protect himself. He was shot multiple times. Carlos assumed he was dead and caught up with Inuyasha. "We need to find that little fox", Carlos said. Meanwhile, Shippo was out, until woken up by Hakudoshi. "You all right?" he asked. "Yes, I'm fine", Shippo said. "Good", Hakudoshi said. "So, what do yo really want to do with your life?" Shippo asked. "I just want a girlfriend, and have a good life", Hakudoshi said. "Maybe, I can help you", Shippo said. "Would you really?" Hakudoshi asked. "Sure thing", Shippo said. Then Inuyasha came. "Hakudoshi, prepare to die", Inuyasha said. "Inuyasha wait", Shippo said. "Out of the way Shippo", Inuyasha said. Shippo tossed dirt in Inuyasha's eyes. "Run!" Shippo said. Hakudoshi left. "Shippo, I'll kill you", Inuyasha said. "The hell you are, bee-yatch", Shippo said. Then Shippo was lifted by his tail to Kagome's face. "Oh Shit", Shippo said. Meanwhile, a villager found The Infant. "What happened to this little guy?" he asked. He picked up The Infant. Then The Infant started draining his life and controlled his body.

The army was at the house of Nazuna, an old friend of Kagome, Shippo & Inuyasha; mostly Kagome, she doesn't like demons. She also doesn't like spiders, so she's a bit uncomfortable with being near Spider-Man. "Shippo, what the fuck were you thinking?" Inuyasha asked. "Are you attempting to betray us?" Carlos asked. "I'm just helping my friend", Shippo said. "You're friend?" Inuyasha asked dully. "Yeah, what's wrong, I can't have friends?" Shippo asked sarcastically. "Not like Hakudoshi", Inuyasha. "You're not the boss of me", Shippo said. "He's right you know, and you never will if you constantly abuse him", Iceman said. "Fuck you snowman", Inuyasha said. "It's Iceman you dumb fuck", Iceman said. Inuyasha growled. Kagome stood in. "Listen Shippo, I will not have you defy me like this", Kagome said. "Leave me alone Kagome, you're not the boss of me either", Shippo said. Kagome smacked him. "Hey girl, go easy on him, he's just a little kid, no need for you're abuse, hitting the kid like a goddamn punching bag", Boomhauer said. "Shut up Boomy", Kagome said. "His name's Boomhauer", Dale said. "Whatever, listen Shippo, if you defy me again, there will be hell to pay", Kagome said. "Major hell kid", Homer said. "Homer, please", Marge said. "What, he is trying to betray us", Homer said. "Shippo, go outside, I'll deal with you later", Kagome said. Shippo left, in a huff. "Don't worry Shippo, we'll fight this", Gambit called out. Shippo stood near a tree. "Don't you think you're going a bit hard on him?" Kurama asked. "Quit defending him just because you're both foxes", Yusuke said. "Seriously", Kurama said. "Yeah, maybe you should take it easier on him, he's just a kid", Leon said. "I know what I'm doing", Kagome said. "Say, who are you people?" Inuyasha said to the wizards. "I'm Harry Potter, this is Ron & Hermione", Harry said. "I've heard of you, you're wizards", Billy said. "Yes sir, I attended Hogwarts for many years, now I'm out to defend", Harry said. While Shippo was outside, a pity feeling Nazuna went up and patted his head. He smiled at her for a second, and then frowned. Nazuna left. Then Hakudoshi appeared in the bushes. "Hey, Shippo", he said. "Hakudoshi, thank God, let's get out of here", Shippo said. "Are you sure?" Hakudoshi asked. "Yes, let's leave", Shippo said. They both left.

Meanwhile at Naraku's castle, there was a meeting of the evil. "Naraku I have bad news; Kagura, Kanna, and Musou are all dead", Van Rokel said. "Dammit, that's a problem", Naraku said. "Hakudoshi and The Infant are believed to be MIA too, their bodies weren't found", Van Rokel said. "Still, I've lost most of my incarnations", Naraku said. "Shall I open the Demonic Lament Configuration puzzle?" Bastion asked. "Do so", Naraku said. Bastion followed Naraku's order and opened the puzzle. After solving the puzzle, the gates of hell opened. A bunch of creatures came out; they were Cenobites, with their leader Pinhead. "Who opened the gates of Hell?" Pinhead asked. "I ordered my friend to do so, see I need your help, I am a soon to be demon overlord, if you help me kill some people, you will also have power", Naraku said. "I would like that", Pinhead said. "I need some of hell's best killers", Naraku said. "I know five; Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, The Candyman, and Leatherface", Pinhead said. "I know Leatherface, when the fuck did he die?" Johnny Ohm asked. "I'm not sure", Pinhead said. "Who cares, as long as you can summon him", Naraku said. "Don't worry, your troubles will soon be over", Pinhead said. Soon a villager showed up. "Who are you?" Paragon asked. The villager dropped dead, with The Infant coming out of his grasp. "Oh my God, the kid's half dead", Paragon said. "Tend to him, make sure he lives", Naraku said.

Meanwhile in the woods, another demon lurked, with a smaller green demon and a little girl. It was Inuyasha's older brother, Lord Sesshomaru, with Rin & Jaken. "I sense something bad in the near future", Sesshomaru said. "What do you mean Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked. "I'm not sure", Sesshomaru said. Then a tornado came towards Sesshomaru, which turned out to be Koga of the wolf demon tribe. "Hey, it's that mutt's brother", Koga said. "You're the one competing with my brother for the love of that priestess", Sesshomaru said. "Hey, I'm gonna win, I'll show her how good I am after I kill Naraku", Koga said. "You really think you can kill Naraku?" Sesshomaru asked. "Hell yeah, I can kill him and any of his lackeys", Koga said. "Whatever", Sesshomaru said. "Maybe we can work together", Koga said. "Why would I do that?" Sesshomaru asked. "We make a great team, we kill Naraku, we also kill Inuyasha, you get his sword, I'll get his woman", Koga said. "Your words interest me, fine, we should work together, but you must help take care of Rin", Sesshomaru said. "Fine, how hard can one little girl be?" Koga asked. "Are you mad wolf? That child is a little hellion, crazy girl, I don't even know why she's here", Jaken said. Rin was deeply offended and began crying. "Uh-oh, wait, Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken said. Unfortunately, Jaken got his ass kicked. Soon Ginta and Hakkaku arrived. "About damn time, come on, we're going to join forces with this man", Koga said. So this newly formed team was on their way. Elsewhere, an elf was walking through the woods. The elf is reviled to be Legolas. "I sense a bad aura", Legolas said. He continued on.

That night, the army was talking about what they'll do about Naraku. "How will we kill this bastard?" Raiden asked. "We'll figure out a way, every being must have a weakness", Solid Snake said. "This sure as hell won't be easy", Neo said. "What the fuck do you think!?" Kaiba screamed. "Sir, my daughter is sleeping", Marge said, referring to Maggie. In Maggie's dream, she has a lot of candy, and a lot of stuffed animals. While in the field of toys, a claw pops out, it was a glove with razors, which scared Maggie a little. Soon an entire body popped out of the field, it was Freddy Kruger. "So this is what a baby's dream is like, how cute", he said. Maggie still looks scared, she starts crying. "Hush little baby, you're pissing me off!" Freddy said. He took Maggie's tongue out, and then used his claw to slice her tongue. Maggie cried harder, and woke up screaming. "What the hell!" Ed Wuncler yelled. "Maggie's bleeding from her tongue! My baby's bleeding from her tongue!" Marge screamed. "Jesus, how did this happen!" George Hamilton of Raccoon City Hospital asked. "I don't know, I didn't do this!" Marge said irritated. "Don't worry, I got it, here's a little salt", George said. Maggie cried more. "I know it hurts, but it will make you feel better", George said. Then Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers bust through the door. "Look out!" 47 yelled. Inuyasha and Yusuke went to the killers and punched them in the face, causing them to fly of, and fall off a cliff into a river. "What the hell are Jason and Michael doing here?" James asked. "If Jason and Michael are here, maybe so is Freddy, which would explain what happened to Maggie", Yusuke said. "Where's Shippo?" Kevin asked. "Isn't he here somewhere?" Kagome asked. "He's gone, I can't find him", Kevin said. "I can't sense his power level", Goku said. "Neither can I", Vegeta said. "This isn't good", Dale said. "Yeah, he's totally defying me", Kagome said. Everyone stared. "Dammit girl, a child is missing and you're worried about being defied?" Dale asked. "You've changed Kagome", Sango said. "Yeah, they described you as a nice girl, what happened?" Neo asked. "I know, what's happening to me?" Kagome asked herself. Then four Cenobites came, the Female, the Chatterer, Butterbean and the Faceless one. Some deadites followed. "Goddammit", Ash said. Pinhead came. "This is a message from Naraku, time to go to hell", he said, then left. The cenobites and deadites attacked. Ash started taking out the deadites, with assistance from Angel, McClane & Kakashi. The Female had a sword, the Chatterer had a knife, Butterbean had a hammer, and the faceless had daggers. Butterbean knocked out Kevin, Raiden and Ron with his hammer, the Female wounded 7 people with her sword; Gambit, Iceman, Carlos, Jin, Naruto, Pan and Miroku. Then Tommy engaged in a sword fight with her, but she was too tough. The Chatterer stabbed Dale and Boomhauer, though they are both barely alive. The faceless stabbed Human Torch, Max Payne and James. "These cenobites are too damn tough", Yusuke said. "Look out!" Kagome said. Too late, Yusuke was hit on the head by Butterbean and busted wide open. "Oh dear God", Mark Wilkins said. He was gonna go for Kagome, but Jason Bourne grabbed his Uzi and shot Butterbean multiple times. Butterbean was still alive. "Bourne, catch", Jack Slate said as he tossed Bourne a second Uzi. Two Uzis were used on Butterbean to the head. Butterbean died. "One down", Bourne said. The Female tried slashing Michael Scofield, but kept missing. She managed to cut his leg. She was gonna do the kill, but was distracted when Lawrence Mujari threw a stone at her. Scofield took the opportunity to grab a Jackhammer shotgun and shoot the Female to death. Jack Bauer was up against the Chatterer. Since the Chatterer's weapon was small, it was easy to evade. He grabbed a 9mm and shot the Chatterer multiple times until it dropped its weapon. Bauer grabbed the knife and beheaded the Chatterer. "How bloody", Bauer said. He was then hit with a dagger. "Bauer no!" Scofield said, rushing to Bauer's aid. The faceless was going towards Scofield. Inuyasha was gonna kill the faceless, but was beaten to it when the Simpson family all equipped with spears came and stabbed it. It got very bloody, since the family became drenched in blood. "D'oh! Now I probably have to take a shower", Homer said. The Cenobites were dead. The deadites died too. "Say, where's Jason and Michael?" Mr. Fantastic asked. "I don't see them anywhere Reed, they must have left", The Thing said. "Are you sure Ben?" Invisible Woman asked. "Yes Suzie" The Thing said. "This was total hell", Carlos said. "No shit", Max Payne said. "It looks like this family was actually useful", Angel said. "Hey what's that suppose to mean wing man?" Homer asked. "Homer stop, thank you Mr. Worthington", Marge said. "You can call me Angel, or Warren", Angel said. "We need to help these injured people", Neo said. The people were taken into the hut.

In the hut, the wounded were being tended to. "This isn't good", Captain America said. "We know Roger, but we need to find a way to continue", Cyclops said. "The shady boy is right", Homer said. "It's Cyclops, you can even call me Scott", Cyclops said. "Maybe if you took off your shades, I won't get confused", Homer said. "If I take off my shades, my lasers will kill you", Cyclops said. "Me thinks you crazy", Homer said. "Mr. Simpson, can it", Leon said. "Fine, I will shut up, can you live with that?" Homer asked. "Hmm, what's the answer I'm looking for? Oh right…Yes", Leon said. "D'oh!" Homer shouted. "Let's just sleep", Miroku said. "I'm too afraid, especially with Freddy", Lisa said. Miroku pulled out a seal. "This will protect us", Miroku said. He unleashed the seal. "Hope this will work", 47 said. "Come on, I'm Miroku", Miroku said. "That's why I'm worried", 47 said. "Wise guy", Miroku said as he went to sleep. Everyone slept without fear of Freddy. Next day, everyone decided to leave. "Thanks for your hospitality Nazuna", Kagome said. "Wait, let me come with you", Nazuna said. "Why the hell do you want to come with us?" Toni Cipriani asked. "I need an adventure, besides most of you are wounded", Nazuna said. "And your point is?" Daredevil asked. "Please let me come", Nazuna asked. "You can come, but bring a weapon, and don't slow us down", Max said. "I won't fail you", Nazuna said. "She's using reverse psychology", Carl said. Tommy and Claude laugh. "Knock it off guys", Kagome said. Toni put his arm around Kagome. "Hey, forget about it, these guys are pricks, don't give a damn about what anyone says", Toni said. "Hurry the hell up miss", Ed Wuncler called. "Ok, ok, asshole", Nazuna said. "What did you say?" Ed Wuncler asked. "Nothing, nothing", Nazuna said. While traveling, the army ran into some bandits. "Hand over all your goods", said the leader. "You're kidding right?" Tommy said. "Yeah, we're a freaken army dumbass", Iceman said. "No, I mean that's no way to hold up someone", Tommy said. "Shut up you idiot", Iceman said. Tommy was gonna say something, but a bandit punched him. Tommy retaliated by hitting him with brass knuckles. Another bandit ran in to Kevin and stole his money. "What the fuck", Kevin said as the bandit ran off. The other bandits were beaten up and tied up by Spider-man. Kevin ran after the other bandit. Outraged, he grabbed his .45 and shot the bandit to death. "Freaken idiot", Kevin said as he took back his money. "Kevin, did you kill that guy?" Kagome asked. "Yeah, so what?" Kevin said. Before Kagome answered, a demon popped out. It headed for Sasuke, but he retaliated and killed the demon quickly. "Where did that demon come from?" Leon asked. "Who cares its dead", Raiden said. "Let's investigate", Spider-man said. "What about us?" a bandit asked. "We'll get you later", Spider-man said. The army went into the forest. "I don't see a damn thing", Captain America said. Then a huge snake popped out. "Holy motherfucker!" Maccer said. Then Tommy brought out his Rocket Launcher and shot the snake in the head, causing it to rain blood. "This is so fucking nasty", Sango said. "Take that _marricon_" Tommy said. "Oh God, let's move out, Jesus", Gabe said. Everyone moved out. "What's marricon?" Kagome asked. "It means faggot", Gabe said.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Ultimate Adventure**

_I don't own anyone, but who freaken cares. Rated R for violence, language, dialogue, sex, blood, horror_

One day at the X-manor, a whole group of people were waiting for Professor X. I mean a shit-load of people. The people were; all the Raccoon City survivors, Jack Slate, Max Payne, Solid Snake, Lara Croft, Raiden, Hal "Otacon" Emmerich, Gabriel Logan, Lian Xing, Teresa Lipan, Laurence Mujari, John McClane, The Crow, Blade, Hannibal King, Abigail Whistler, Ed Wuncler III, Gin Rummy, Agent 47, Frank Martin, Fantastic Four, Spider-man, the X-men, Daredevil, The Punisher, The Hulk, Captain America, Elektra, Iron man, Ghost Rider, Neo Anderson, Tommy Vercetti, Carl Johnson, Claude "Fido" Speed, John Constantine, Ash Williams, The Simpson Family, The Griffin Family, The Smith Family, The Gold Family, The Hill Family, the friends Bill Dauterive, Dale Gribble, Boomhauer, James Earl Cash, James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer, Michael Scofield, Kent Paul, Maccer, Toni Cipriani, Naruto Uzamaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Kakashi Hatake, Yusuke Urimeshi, Kurama, Hiei, Kazuma Kuwabara, Goku Son, Pan Son, Vegeta, Kiyo Takamine & Zatch Bell. That's a helluva lotta people.

Professor X arrived. "I'm sure you're all wondering what you are doing here", he said. "We are very curious", Tommy said. "You see, I have a mission for all you people, you must go back in time and help a girl and some friends stop an evil madman named Naraku", Professor X said. "Who the hell is Naraku?" Constantine asked. "A half demon that is destroying feudal Japan and can have a bad affect on our time", Professor X said. "How dangerous is the Son of a bitch?" Kevin Ryman of the RPD asked. "Very, especially since he's teamed up with others, such as the head sentinel Bastion, the Imperfects; Niles Van Rokel, Paragon, Johnny Ohm, and Fault Zone; even harnessing the Demonic Lament Configuration that holds in the gates of hell, even the deadly Pinhead and his Cenobites", Professor X said. "How did Bastion get to the feudal era?" Wolverine asked. "Van Rokel built a device to allow him", Professor X said. "So who will we meet in the past?" Ash asked. "I have someone who has been to this era", Professor X said. Then a girl stepped out. "This is Kagome Higurashi, though she's from Japan, she can speak English", Professor X said. "Hello" she said. "Kon-ich-ih-wah", Tommy said bowing. "Now the X-men, the NYC heroes and Resolution will go back in time to help", Professor X said. "Who's Resolution?" Kagome asked. "The people that are not superheroes are Resolution", Professor X said. "It was discovered by me, NYPD John McClane and RPD Leon Kennedy", Gabriel Logan said. "What about those people, they don't look like cops, or secret agents", Kagome said, referring to The Simpsons, Griffins, Golds, Hills & Smiths. "One of those families will join you, The Simpsons, for community service, everyone else came for moral support", Professor X said. "What did we do to deserve this?" Homer Simpson asked. "You caused a nuclear meltdown dad", Lisa Simpson said. "Relax man, everyone fucks up on something", Dave Gold said. "Yeah, like the time I abused my freedom of speech", Peter said. Flashback to an assembly in a library. Everyone was standing until Peter said, "What are we doing here?" Then everyone started punching him, one guy said, "No talking in the library" Back to present. "Hehehehehehehe", Peter laughed. "This sucks, I can't believe you screwed up Homer", Bart said. "Why you little…" Homer said and strangled Bart. Bart grabbed Daredevil's rod and bashed Homer on the head. "Ouch, Marge, I think he brained up my fuck", Homer said. "Sir it's inappropriate to strangle your son", Spider-man said. "Anyway it's time to go", Professor X said. He readied a machine. "Let's back away people", Hank said. Dale was trying to open a beer, then accidentally dropped it and it rolled away. "Ahh! My beer", he screamed and ran after it. Boomhauer saw this and ran after Dale. "Hey man, come back here man, running to that crazy thing, take you back in time man", he said. "Homer, I forgot to take back my sunglasses", Dave said as he ran. "Dale, Boomhauer, get away from there", Hank said. "David come back here", Vickie Gold said. Too late, the thing transported everyone, with 3 stow ways; Dale, Boomhauer & Dave.

Everyone made it to the feudal era. "That trip was fuckin' sick", Kevin said. "Hell fuckin' yeah", Gin Rummy said. "Come on", Kagome said. The army followed her. They arrived in a village. "Inuyasha! Mugen! James! Everyone out here", Kagome said. A bunch of people came out. "Everyone, these are my friends, they'll introduce themselves, though there are some her that know them", Kagome said. Indeed Yusuke & Pan know them; they are good friends of Kagome. "I'll start. I am Kagome Higurashi, I'm 15, I like to play cards with friends, take care of Shippo, and other stuff". "I'm Inuyasha, I'm 17, I like Ramen, I'm a fan of John Cena, I don't take shit from anyone, so don't fuck with me". "I'm Miroku, I'm 19, and I'm cursed with a windtunnel in my hand that will someday kill me. I am indeed a womanizer" "I'm Sango, I'm 18, this is my pet cat demon Kirara, I like Brittney Spears". "I'm James Kaiba, former Team Rocket member, I'm 17, and I like Jay-Z". "I'm Seto Kaiba, James's cousin, I'm a championship duelist, I don't like to get fucked with, I'm 16, and I like Linkin Park". "I'm Mugen, I'm 20, I kick ass, and I also like John Cena". "I'm Jin, I'm 20, I don't talk much, don't bother me". "I'm Fuu, I'm 15, and I like nice things, that's all". "I'm Shippo, I'm a fox demon, I'm 7, I like to play with Kagome, I like Chris Jericho, Michael Jackson, The Backstreet Boys & Eminem, I don't like mean people like Inuyasha and Mugen". Shippo gets hit by Inuyasha and Mugen. "What was that punk?" Inuyasha asked. Shippo starts crying. "Inuyasha, SIT", Kagome said. Inuyasha fell face first to the ground. Mugen got knocked upside the head by Fuu. "That's not a good way to treat a kid", Kevin Ryman said. "Let's forget that and introduce yourselves", Kagome said. Everyone took turns introducing themselves. Finally the Simpsons. "My name is Homer Jay Simpson, call me Homer, I'm 38, I work in the nuclear plant which led me to this shitty job, I like doughnuts, pork chops and beer, I like rock music and I like to be called colonel cool as well". "I'm Marjorie Simpson, maiden name Bouvier, call me Marge, I'm 37, I'm a homemaker, I like Tom Jones, and I care deep for my children". "I'm Bartholomew Jojo Simpson (hears a laugh), shut up; call me Bart, I'm 10, I like to prank call people, moon them, and I like my slingshot. Plus I listen to rap". "I'm Lisa Marie Simpson, call me Lisa, I'm 8, I like Jazz, I'm Buddhist, I want world peace, and I'm a vegetarian". "This is my daughter Margaret Simpson, call her Maggie, she's 1, she doesn't talk much, but she's very nice", Marge said. Soon the Stow ways arrived. "What the hell are you doing here?" Tommy asked. "Shut up, I'm very weirded out by that trip", Dave said. "Must be from when you were near us", Lisa said. "Why don't yo introduce yourselves?" Kagome said. "Dale Gribble". "Dave Gold". "Boomhauer". "So we're keeping it short", Kagome said. "I guess we are", Dale said. "Some on, let's go to Kaede's hut", Kagome said.

The army arrived in the hut. "Unfortunately everyone can't fit in the hut", Sango said. "Who care's, it's not that important", Carl said. "You know it's somewhat weird", Homer said. "What?" Marge asked. "His name is Carl, and he's black, I have a friend named Carl who's also black, do you have a white friend named Lenny?" Homer asked. "No, my friends are Tommy, Toni & Claude", Carl said. "(Laughs) Claude, funny name", Homer said. Claude heard this and fired a shotgun in the air, giving Homer a fright, then making a finger across the throat gesture. "Don't fuck with Claude", 47 said. "Don't fire your gun here", Kagome said. Claude flipped her off. Kagome grunted. "Told you not to fuck with Claude", 47 said. "Doesn't he talk?" Lisa asked. "No he doesn't, silent, but deadly", Carl said. Shippo went to Kevin. "Nice hat", Shippo said, referring to Kevin's cowboy hat. "Thanks, you know with this hat, I'm known as the Midnight Cowboy", Kevin said. "Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, always bragging about something", Gambit said. "Shut up Remy", Kevin said. "Guys, guys, chill out will ya", Iceman said. "Wise guy", Kevin said. "What do you guys do?" Shippo asked. "I can use kinetic energy, and use poker cards as weapons", Gambit said. "I can make ice", Iceman said. "Kid, you know what I do? I make fire", The Human Torch said. "So can I", Shippo said, creating some fox fire. "That's cool", Human Torch said, turning his entire body to fire. "Oh my God!" Shippo said. "Johnny, stop showing off", Spider-man said (Note: none of the superheroes, except Iron man, are wearing super suits). "What do you do?" Shippo asked. "I can do what ever a spider can, spin a web, crawl on walls, everything", Spider-man said. "He's cool ain't he, jerk", Human Torch said. Steve Burnside, Kent Paul & Maccer arrive. "Showing off again Johnny Storm?" Maccer asked. "Shut the hell up", Human Torch said. "Easy, there's a kid here", Steve said. "I don't mind", Shippo said. "See he don't mind asshole", Human Torch said. "Go to hell", Steve said. "You know there are other kids here", Marge said. "Who gives a shit?" Bart asked. "BART!" Homer yelled. "They don't care either", Paul said. "I do", Lisa said. Human Torch picked her up and put her outside. "That takes care of that", Human Torch said. "That was stupid", Inuyasha said. "You shouldn't be talking about what's stupid or not", Shippo said. "What the hell are you trying to say?" Inuyasha said as he advanced toward Shippo. "Kagome help", Shippo said. "You brought this on yourself", Kagome said. "Ya here that?" Inuyasha said. Then Spider-man stood in front of Inuyasha. "I wouldn't hurt the kid if I were you", he said. The other 7 people stood in front of Inuyasha as well. "You better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up", Maccer said. Inuyasha grunted then left. "You're a bitch", Paul said to Kagome, which really pissed her off. "Listen you…" Kagome started. "Kagome, don't bother, I don't think anyone hear gives a crap what you think", Shippo said. Kagome picked up Shippo by the tail, smacked him and tossed him outside. "Yo what the fuck bitch", Human Torch said. Outside, Naruto, Sasuke & Sakura were walking and saw Shippo outside crying. "Poor little guy", Sakura said. Then the door opened. Shippo looked happy, until he saw his 8 friends being tossed out one by one. "Holy Shit", Naruto said. A pissed off Kevin yelled, "Why not throw out everyone else so your boyfriend can fuck you in the ass Kagome!" Lisa took the opportunity to go back in. "Kevin, what does it mean to fuck someone in the ass?" Shippo asked. "Fucking means having sex, that's how babies are created, sometimes its just for fun, a man can insert his penis into a woman's vagina or anus, penis is between a guy's legs, vagina is between a girl's legs, anus is an ass, if it's the anus, it's called anal, sex hurts at first", Kevin said. "Sometimes, a girl can suck on a guy's penis, or a guy can lick a girl's vagina, they can even suck each other's pecks or breasts", Human Torch said. "Can one boy kiss another?" Shippo asked. "If they are gay, or fags", Iceman said. "If girls kiss, they're lesbians, sometimes referred to as gay, though gay is mostly referred to for men", Gambit said. "Some are bisexual, they like boys and girls", Steve said. "Thanks for telling me, I finally know where babies come from, though it seems weird", Shippo said. "Don't worry, it feels so damn good", Paul said. David King, Alyssa Ashcroft, Billy Coen & Jim Chapman were watching from a distance. "A kid learning the birds and the bees like that is as creepy as those zombies in raccoon city", David said. The others nodded.

Later, everyone went to sleep. Spider-man offered Shippo to hang with them in a hut, Shippo declined, he wasn't in the mood. He slept in a shed, crying over what happened, and then sleeping. Someone entered the shed and saw Shippo crying. "Poor guy", the person said. The stranger started hugging Shippo. Shippo woke up. "What the hell!" he said. He recognized the person. "Hakudoshi!" Shippo said as he saw his enemy, the 7-year old demon minion of Naraku. "Hi there", Hakudoshi said. "What the Hell are you doing?" Shippo asked. "You were crying so I thought I'd make you feel better", Hakudoshi said. "Why are you here?" Shippo asked. "I was ordered to kill you", Hakudoshi said. "What happened?" Shippo asked, almost concerned. "I saw you and felt sorry for you, then I heard what your friends said, so I figured I'd assist you", Hakudoshi said. "Why are you depressed?" Shippo asked. "I'm tired of looking for these goddamn jewel shards, I would like to have a girlfriend, but I can't get one, Naraku won't let me, especially with Bastion & Van Rokel around", Hakudoshi said. "So you are mistreated as well, from Inuyasha is no surprise, but from Kagome is just terrible, I feel really betrayed, I thought she would always care for me, but that was all a damn lie, it really pisses me off", Shippo said. "I always have to take orders from some idiot who had once worn a baboon suit, some man who looks like a woman", Hakudoshi said. "That's funny", Shippo "I better leave", Hakudoshi said. "When will I see you again?" Shippo asked. "Soon", Hakudoshi said. He left.

Morning came; Shippo woke up and left the shed. Everyone was preparing to leave. "Bye Kaede, thanks for the hospitality" Kagome said. "No problem Kagome", Kaede said. Shippo met with his friends. "How was your night kid?" Kevin asked. "Fine", Shippo said. "Let's move out", James said. The army moved out. They've walked 10 miles before an impatient Zatch Bell screamed, "Where are we?" "Shut up Zatch" Kiyo said. "Chill out dammit", Inuyasha said. "I wish we had some action", Naruto said. Then Kagura appeared on her feather. "Be careful what you wish for", she said. Then Kanna appeared with The Infant. "Death will come to you", The Infant said. "Jesus Christ! That infant's talking", Michael Scofield said. "Back off Kagura, there are many people here", Inuyasha said. "Really, DANCE OF THE BLADES", Kagura said as she attacked the army. "Watch out!" Miroku shouted. Everyone dodged, except for Kevin, who got slightly cut; Jack Bauer, who got sliced at the leg; and Max Payne, who got sliced at the back. "Goddamn bitch", Jack Bauer said. Eventually, Musou showed up. "Musou, I thought you were dead", Kagome said. "I never died", Musou said. He drew his sword and tried to kill Kagome, but got into a sword fight with Raiden. Kagura attacked again with, "DANCE OF THE DRAGON", which resulted in a big tornado, which was sucked in by Miroku's Windtunnel, but caused Shippo to fly off. "Shippo, no!" Spider-man shouted. Raiden continued to fight Musou, leading to Raiden stabbing Musou. "Ha, I can't die", Musou said, and slashed Raiden at the arm. "DANCE OF THE DEAD", Kagura said, as the dead rose from the ground. "Where the hell did all these zombies come from?" Yusuke asked. "Goddammit, more zombies", Chris Redfield said. "Let's do it again", Leon Kennedy said. "We'll help", Wolverine said. The Raccoon City survivors & the X-men took out all the zombies. "How the hell did you mere humans manage that?" Kagura asked. "Because we're so damn talented", Kevin said. "And we're not all humans you idiot", Iceman said. Meanwhile at the present time, Professor X was watching trough a magical mirror he acquired from Hogwarts. Speaking of Hogwarts, three top students came, Harry Potter, Ronald Wesley & Hermione Granger. "Professor, sorry we're late", Harry said. He then saw the action. "Should we go now?" Harry asked. "Yes, hurry", Professor X said. "Wait, just to let you know, you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that there's a talking baby", Peter Griffin said. Everyone stared. "Let's go", Hermione said. They were transported to the past. Musou was gonna kill Raiden. "Die punk", Musou said. Inuyasha saw this, but was unable to help due to the dance of the blades, dragon & dead. Then Harry arrived. He saw Raiden's life in danger. _"Avada Kedavra"_, Harry said. A green spark left his want and flew towards Musou. When Musou was hit, he died in an instance. "No Musou", Kagura said. Raiden saw Kagura distracted then used the opportunity to cut her head off with his sword. Much blood flew as she died. "Kanna, we need to depart, or we'll get killed too", The Infant said. They tried running, but Yusuke saw them. "Oh no you don't, SPIRIT GUN" he said as he shot some spiritual energy and hit Kanna in the back. Kanna was dead. "Shit", The Infant said. He tried escaping, but was caught by Carlos Olivera. "I'm gonna feel weird about this", he said. He fired his assault rifle at The Infant. Since The Infant didn't see him, he couldn't protect himself. He was shot multiple times. Carlos assumed he was dead and caught up with Inuyasha. "We need to find that little fox", Carlos said. Meanwhile, Shippo was out, until woken up by Hakudoshi. "You all right?" he asked. "Yes, I'm fine", Shippo said. "Good", Hakudoshi said. "So, what do yo really want to do with your life?" Shippo asked. "I just want a girlfriend, and have a good life", Hakudoshi said. "Maybe, I can help you", Shippo said. "Would you really?" Hakudoshi asked. "Sure thing", Shippo said. Then Inuyasha came. "Hakudoshi, prepare to die", Inuyasha said. "Inuyasha wait", Shippo said. "Out of the way Shippo", Inuyasha said. Shippo tossed dirt in Inuyasha's eyes. "Run!" Shippo said. Hakudoshi left. "Shippo, I'll kill you", Inuyasha said. "The hell you are, bee-yatch", Shippo said. Then Shippo was lifted by his tail to Kagome's face. "Oh Shit", Shippo said. Meanwhile, a villager found The Infant. "What happened to this little guy?" he asked. He picked up The Infant. Then The Infant started draining his life and controlled his body.

The army was at the house of Nazuna, an old friend of Kagome, Shippo & Inuyasha; mostly Kagome, she doesn't like demons. She also doesn't like spiders, so she's a bit uncomfortable with being near Spider-Man. "Shippo, what the fuck were you thinking?" Inuyasha asked. "Are you attempting to betray us?" Carlos asked. "I'm just helping my friend", Shippo said. "You're friend?" Inuyasha asked dully. "Yeah, what's wrong, I can't have friends?" Shippo asked sarcastically. "Not like Hakudoshi", Inuyasha. "You're not the boss of me", Shippo said. "He's right you know, and you never will if you constantly abuse him", Iceman said. "Fuck you snowman", Inuyasha said. "It's Iceman you dumb fuck", Iceman said. Inuyasha growled. Kagome stood in. "Listen Shippo, I will not have you defy me like this", Kagome said. "Leave me alone Kagome, you're not the boss of me either", Shippo said. Kagome smacked him. "Hey girl, go easy on him, he's just a little kid, no need for you're abuse, hitting the kid like a goddamn punching bag", Boomhauer said. "Shut up Boomy", Kagome said. "His name's Boomhauer", Dale said. "Whatever, listen Shippo, if you defy me again, there will be hell to pay", Kagome said. "Major hell kid", Homer said. "Homer, please", Marge said. "What, he is trying to betray us", Homer said. "Shippo, go outside, I'll deal with you later", Kagome said. Shippo left, in a huff. "Don't worry Shippo, we'll fight this", Gambit called out. Shippo stood near a tree. "Don't you think you're going a bit hard on him?" Kurama asked. "Quit defending him just because you're both foxes", Yusuke said. "Seriously", Kurama said. "Yeah, maybe you should take it easier on him, he's just a kid", Leon said. "I know what I'm doing", Kagome said. "Say, who are you people?" Inuyasha said to the wizards. "I'm Harry Potter, this is Ron & Hermione", Harry said. "I've heard of you, you're wizards", Billy said. "Yes sir, I attended Hogwarts for many years, now I'm out to defend", Harry said. While Shippo was outside, a pity feeling Nazuna went up and patted his head. He smiled at her for a second, and then frowned. Nazuna left. Then Hakudoshi appeared in the bushes. "Hey, Shippo", he said. "Hakudoshi, thank God, let's get out of here", Shippo said. "Are you sure?" Hakudoshi asked. "Yes, let's leave", Shippo said. They both left.

Meanwhile at Naraku's castle, there was a meeting of the evil. "Naraku I have bad news; Kagura, Kanna, and Musou are all dead", Van Rokel said. "Dammit, that's a problem", Naraku said. "Hakudoshi and The Infant are believed to be MIA too, their bodies weren't found", Van Rokel said. "Still, I've lost most of my incarnations", Naraku said. "Shall I open the Demonic Lament Configuration puzzle?" Bastion asked. "Do so", Naraku said. Bastion followed Naraku's order and opened the puzzle. After solving the puzzle, the gates of hell opened. A bunch of creatures came out; they were Cenobites, with their leader Pinhead. "Who opened the gates of Hell?" Pinhead asked. "I ordered my friend to do so, see I need your help, I am a soon to be demon overlord, if you help me kill some people, you will also have power", Naraku said. "I would like that", Pinhead said. "I need some of hell's best killers", Naraku said. "I know five; Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, The Candyman, and Leatherface", Pinhead said. "I know Leatherface, when the fuck did he die?" Johnny Ohm asked. "I'm not sure", Pinhead said. "Who cares, as long as you can summon him", Naraku said. "Don't worry, your troubles will soon be over", Pinhead said. Soon a villager showed up. "Who are you?" Paragon asked. The villager dropped dead, with The Infant coming out of his grasp. "Oh my God, the kid's half dead", Paragon said. "Tend to him, make sure he lives", Naraku said.

Meanwhile in the woods, another demon lurked, with a smaller green demon and a little girl. It was Inuyasha's older brother, Lord Sesshomaru, with Rin & Jaken. "I sense something bad in the near future", Sesshomaru said. "What do you mean Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked. "I'm not sure", Sesshomaru said. Then a tornado came towards Sesshomaru, which turned out to be Koga of the wolf demon tribe. "Hey, it's that mutt's brother", Koga said. "You're the one competing with my brother for the love of that priestess", Sesshomaru said. "Hey, I'm gonna win, I'll show her how good I am after I kill Naraku", Koga said. "You really think you can kill Naraku?" Sesshomaru asked. "Hell yeah, I can kill him and any of his lackeys", Koga said. "Whatever", Sesshomaru said. "Maybe we can work together", Koga said. "Why would I do that?" Sesshomaru asked. "We make a great team, we kill Naraku, we also kill Inuyasha, you get his sword, I'll get his woman", Koga said. "Your words interest me, fine, we should work together, but you must help take care of Rin", Sesshomaru said. "Fine, how hard can one little girl be?" Koga asked. "Are you mad wolf? That child is a little hellion, crazy girl, I don't even know why she's here", Jaken said. Rin was deeply offended and began crying. "Uh-oh, wait, Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken said. Unfortunately, Jaken got his ass kicked. Soon Ginta and Hakkaku arrived. "About damn time, come on, we're going to join forces with this man", Koga said. So this newly formed team was on their way. Elsewhere, an elf was walking through the woods. The elf is reviled to be Legolas. "I sense a bad aura", Legolas said. He continued on.

That night, the army was talking about what they'll do about Naraku. "How will we kill this bastard?" Raiden asked. "We'll figure out a way, every being must have a weakness", Solid Snake said. "This sure as hell won't be easy", Neo said. "What the fuck do you think!?" Kaiba screamed. "Sir, my daughter is sleeping", Marge said, referring to Maggie. In Maggie's dream, she has a lot of candy, and a lot of stuffed animals. While in the field of toys, a claw pops out, it was a glove with razors, which scared Maggie a little. Soon an entire body popped out of the field, it was Freddy Kruger. "So this is what a baby's dream is like, how cute", he said. Maggie still looks scared, she starts crying. "Hush little baby, you're pissing me off!" Freddy said. He took Maggie's tongue out, and then used his claw to slice her tongue. Maggie cried harder, and woke up screaming. "What the hell!" Ed Wuncler yelled. "Maggie's bleeding from her tongue! My baby's bleeding from her tongue!" Marge screamed. "Jesus, how did this happen!" George Hamilton of Raccoon City Hospital asked. "I don't know, I didn't do this!" Marge said irritated. "Don't worry, I got it, here's a little salt", George said. Maggie cried more. "I know it hurts, but it will make you feel better", George said. Then Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers bust through the door. "Look out!" 47 yelled. Inuyasha and Yusuke went to the killers and punched them in the face, causing them to fly of, and fall off a cliff into a river. "What the hell are Jason and Michael doing here?" James asked. "If Jason and Michael are here, maybe so is Freddy, which would explain what happened to Maggie", Yusuke said. "Where's Shippo?" Kevin asked. "Isn't he here somewhere?" Kagome asked. "He's gone, I can't find him", Kevin said. "I can't sense his power level", Goku said. "Neither can I", Vegeta said. "This isn't good", Dale said. "Yeah, he's totally defying me", Kagome said. Everyone stared. "Dammit girl, a child is missing and you're worried about being defied?" Dale asked. "You've changed Kagome", Sango said. "Yeah, they described you as a nice girl, what happened?" Neo asked. "I know, what's happening to me?" Kagome asked herself. Then four Cenobites came, the Female, the Chatterer, Butterbean and the Faceless one. Some deadites followed. "Goddammit", Ash said. Pinhead came. "This is a message from Naraku, time to go to hell", he said, then left. The cenobites and deadites attacked. Ash started taking out the deadites, with assistance from Angel, McClane & Kakashi. The Female had a sword, the Chatterer had a knife, Butterbean had a hammer, and the faceless had daggers. Butterbean knocked out Kevin, Raiden and Ron with his hammer, the Female wounded 7 people with her sword; Gambit, Iceman, Carlos, Jin, Naruto, Pan and Miroku. Then Tommy engaged in a sword fight with her, but she was too tough. The Chatterer stabbed Dale and Boomhauer, though they are both barely alive. The faceless stabbed Human Torch, Max Payne and James. "These cenobites are too damn tough", Yusuke said. "Look out!" Kagome said. Too late, Yusuke was hit on the head by Butterbean and busted wide open. "Oh dear God", Mark Wilkins said. He was gonna go for Kagome, but Jason Bourne grabbed his Uzi and shot Butterbean multiple times. Butterbean was still alive. "Bourne, catch", Jack Slate said as he tossed Bourne a second Uzi. Two Uzis were used on Butterbean to the head. Butterbean died. "One down", Bourne said. The Female tried slashing Michael Scofield, but kept missing. She managed to cut his leg. She was gonna do the kill, but was distracted when Lawrence Mujari threw a stone at her. Scofield took the opportunity to grab a Jackhammer shotgun and shoot the Female to death. Jack Bauer was up against the Chatterer. Since the Chatterer's weapon was small, it was easy to evade. He grabbed a 9mm and shot the Chatterer multiple times until it dropped its weapon. Bauer grabbed the knife and beheaded the Chatterer. "How bloody", Bauer said. He was then hit with a dagger. "Bauer no!" Scofield said, rushing to Bauer's aid. The faceless was going towards Scofield. Inuyasha was gonna kill the faceless, but was beaten to it when the Simpson family all equipped with spears came and stabbed it. It got very bloody, since the family became drenched in blood. "D'oh! Now I probably have to take a shower", Homer said. The Cenobites were dead. The deadites died too. "Say, where's Jason and Michael?" Mr. Fantastic asked. "I don't see them anywhere Reed, they must have left", The Thing said. "Are you sure Ben?" Invisible Woman asked. "Yes Suzie" The Thing said. "This was total hell", Carlos said. "No shit", Max Payne said. "It looks like this family was actually useful", Angel said. "Hey what's that suppose to mean wing man?" Homer asked. "Homer stop, thank you Mr. Worthington", Marge said. "You can call me Angel, or Warren", Angel said. "We need to help these injured people", Neo said. The people were taken into the hut.

In the hut, the wounded were being tended to. "This isn't good", Captain America said. "We know Roger, but we need to find a way to continue", Cyclops said. "The shady boy is right", Homer said. "It's Cyclops, you can even call me Scott", Cyclops said. "Maybe if you took off your shades, I won't get confused", Homer said. "If I take off my shades, my lasers will kill you", Cyclops said. "Me thinks you crazy", Homer said. "Mr. Simpson, can it", Leon said. "Fine, I will shut up, can you live with that?" Homer asked. "Hmm, what's the answer I'm looking for? Oh right…Yes", Leon said. "D'oh!" Homer shouted. "Let's just sleep", Miroku said. "I'm too afraid, especially with Freddy", Lisa said. Miroku pulled out a seal. "This will protect us", Miroku said. He unleashed the seal. "Hope this will work", 47 said. "Come on, I'm Miroku", Miroku said. "That's why I'm worried", 47 said. "Wise guy", Miroku said as he went to sleep. Everyone slept without fear of Freddy. Next day, everyone decided to leave. "Thanks for your hospitality Nazuna", Kagome said. "Wait, let me come with you", Nazuna said. "Why the hell do you want to come with us?" Toni Cipriani asked. "I need an adventure, besides most of you are wounded", Nazuna said. "And your point is?" Daredevil asked. "Please let me come", Nazuna asked. "You can come, but bring a weapon, and don't slow us down", Max said. "I won't fail you", Nazuna said. "She's using reverse psychology", Carl said. Tommy and Claude laugh. "Knock it off guys", Kagome said. Toni put his arm around Kagome. "Hey, forget about it, these guys are pricks, don't give a damn about what anyone says", Toni said. "Hurry the hell up miss", Ed Wuncler called. "Ok, ok, asshole", Nazuna said. "What did you say?" Ed Wuncler asked. "Nothing, nothing", Nazuna said. While traveling, the army ran into some bandits. "Hand over all your goods", said the leader. "You're kidding right?" Tommy said. "Yeah, we're a freaken army dumbass", Iceman said. "No, I mean that's no way to hold up someone", Tommy said. "Shut up you idiot", Iceman said. Tommy was gonna say something, but a bandit punched him. Tommy retaliated by hitting him with brass knuckles. Another bandit ran in to Kevin and stole his money. "What the fuck", Kevin said as the bandit ran off. The other bandits were beaten up and tied up by Spider-man. Kevin ran after the other bandit. Outraged, he grabbed his .45 and shot the bandit to death. "Freaken idiot", Kevin said as he took back his money. "Kevin, did you kill that guy?" Kagome asked. "Yeah, so what?" Kevin said. Before Kagome answered, a demon popped out. It headed for Sasuke, but he retaliated and killed the demon quickly. "Where did that demon come from?" Leon asked. "Who cares its dead", Raiden said. "Let's investigate", Spider-man said. "What about us?" a bandit asked. "We'll get you later", Spider-man said. The army went into the forest. "I don't see a damn thing", Captain America said. Then a huge snake popped out. "Holy motherfucker!" Maccer said. Then Tommy brought out his Rocket Launcher and shot the snake in the head, causing it to rain blood. "This is so fucking nasty", Sango said. "Take that _marricon_" Tommy said. "Oh God, let's move out, Jesus", Gabe said. Everyone moved out. "What's marricon?" Kagome asked. "It means faggot", Gabe said.


End file.
